


This life o' mine

by Datgrill



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-07-28 10:49:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16240100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Datgrill/pseuds/Datgrill
Summary: Eddie has been trying to get his life on track since the explosion, really he has. He's been adjusting to life with Venom, and things have been good. Until they go very wrong. As it turns out, the events of the explosion weren't as clear as everyone thought.





	1. Oh Shit

**Author's Note:**

> I watched the movie and instantly fell in love with these two dorks. So much so, I wrote my first fic.

Eddie woke in a cold sweat. He reached for his chest, same as he did every morning. He could still remember the feeling when he was separated from Venom, and how it had hurt. Of course it hurt more when Riot stabbed him in the chest. He wasn’t about to forget that any time soon.

**You are safe Eddie.**

They went through this conversation each morning. Eddie would dream of dying, along on the platform, only to wake with the memory of it fresh in his mind. Venom would remind him, annoyingly, that he was unfortunately still alive.

**Eddie, what is wrong?**

“What’s wrong?” How could he even explain to an alien what was going on in his head? The thing lived there and if he didn’t get it by now, how could he hope to explain what was going on.

“You wouldn’t happen to know what PTSD is, would you?”

**No.**

**“** Of course you wouldn’t.”

For the rest of the day, Venom was suspiciously silent. No quips about him or his boring new job. Sure, it wasn’t the Brock report, but it paid the bills and when you have a constantly hungry parasite on your hands food is always a struggle. Still, it was unsettling to hear nothing all day long.

He couldn’t help but to laugh at the thought. Most people are used to only their own thoughts occupying their heads. It wasn’t too long ago that Eddie was one of them. In some ways, it scared him how quickly he adjusted with this arrangement.

“Venom?” The impulse to call out to the symbiote was instant. He tried to ignore the looks he received from his coworkers. It didn’t matter that they all had their own cubicles, they were still nosey bastards. Rumors had started flying around the office about his mental stability, and honestly he was right there with them wondering. They had started to get used to it, but it hurt to see the way they would avoid him as he walked down the hall. The way they wouldn’t look him in the eye.

**Yes?**

He tried to keep his voice low, not wanting to draw any further attention to himself. “Just wondering where you went, dude. Haven’t heard anything from you all day.”

**You didn’t want to talk this morning.**

“So that’s what this is about?” His voice was a little too loud and glancing over his shoulder he could see one of his coworkers slow down as she passed his cubicle.

**We could eat her.**

“No!” Eddie winced and placed his head on his desk, hoping to draw no more of his coworker’s attention than usual. “I told you,” he hissed between his teeth, “we only eat the bad ones.”

**I don’t like the way she was looking at us.**

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, talking to Venom put him at ease. He was really fucked up to be enjoying an alien living up his ass, but this was his life now. Honestly, he’s lived with worse so adapting to the situation hadn’t been too difficult. However, here were a few things that would take some getting used to.

Eddie left work several hours after everyone else had went home. Sure, he was the workplace weirdo, but that didn’t mean he didn’t care about his job. He was a reporter again. A shitty, low paid reporter, but he was back to doing what he loved. For the most part.

Over the past few months, he realized if he walked around the city with headphones or his cell, he wouldn’t be seen as so crazy. Sometimes he forgot though, and walked around looking like a big idiot. As he was walking home, he didn’t forget to put his headphones in this time.

“What do you want for dinner?” He was starving. He hadn’t been at his new job long and between two paychecks there wasn’t a lot left over for splurging on food. He managed to scrape together whatever was in his fridge to make lunch. Neither of them were particularly happy.

Tomorrow, he’d get paid and hopefully have enough to fully stock his fridge now that he was starting to catch up on his bills. With all the images of food floating through his head, he wasn’t sure if that was his own doing, or Venom’s.

**Pizza.**

Pizza it is then. He was already in the process of pulling up the app for the nearest chain—he couldn’t forget to order the deluxe, not pepperoni—when he saw two men escort a woman into the alley ahead of him.

“You see that?” He was tucking his phone back into his pocket, trying to discreetly observe the men.

**Mask?**

“Copy.” Eddie ran into the alley. As he was moving he could feel Venom move through his skin and around him. The power he felt was incredible. There wasn’t any doubts when he was like this. It was just power. When they were like, Venom was in control but Eddie didn’t mind. There wasn’t anything wrong with this feeling. This power.

The two men dropped their weapons the moment they saw them. Venom moved faster than they could scream, throwing one against the wall. He picked up the other and took to the time to savor the flavor.

They turned to the woman, Venom revealing half of Eddie’s face. “Don’t worry miss, you’re perfectly safe now.”

Judging from her wide eyes, gaping mouth, and shaking form, she probably didn’t believe him for a second. He really couldn’t blame her. The first time he saw Venom’s face it was a traumatic experience for him too.

Venom quickly covered their face. **“Hey!”**

_What? It really was traumatic. It’s not every day some alien thing starts talking to you and making you eat chicken out of the trash!_

“ **At least I didn’t knock us out.** ”

_Low blow, man._

At this point the woman grabbed her bag and ran out of the alley screaming. In the distance, sirens could be heard.

“ **Rude. She didn’t even thank us.** ” Venom ran toward the end of the alley and climbed the building, leaping from roof to roof toward the apartment.

_Most people aren’t going to thank us for eating other people._

Venom landed in the alley right next to the apartment. He pooled back into Eddie’s skin, resting there until the next time. There will always be a next time.

Venom was just under his skin, always there and always waiting. Still, Eddie missed having Venom around him, the power, the invincibility. It made him feel like less of a loser.

**You’re still a loser Eddie.**

“Thanks V, so glad you won’t ever let me forget.” There wasn’t any real bite in the symbiote’s voice. It was softer than normal, low and deep in his chest.

Eddie pulled out his phone as he made his way up the stairs to his apartment. “Pizza should be here in twenty minutes.” He wasn’t very hungry anymore, and he didn’t like to think too much about why. The hunger never truly went away. Not anymore. He could eat and eat, and still be hungry.

Just as he opened the door, he could hear—well feel—the music his neighbor was once again playing. He checked his phone with a groan. It was even nine o’clock. This could go on for several hours.

**We could eat him.**

“No,” he says reflexively. If he’s being honest with himself, he wouldn’t be _upset_ to see anything happen to his neighbor. Not at all. A few months ago, he would entertain the thought more often. Now there was a different meaning in the thoughts, and there was also someone else listening in.

It didn’t take long for the food to show up. He paid for the pizzas and returned to his usual spot on the couch. Eddie set one off to the side and opened the box in front of him, grabbing a slice and settling into his seat.

Venom formed around his shoulder, his inky face surging toward the other pizza box. Eddie watched as Venom smelled the food before he started to dig in too. As much as the symbiote complained about the ‘dead’ food, he was more than happy to have Eddie feed him all the time.

As the evening progressed through many different channels, one argument, and several bottles of beer, Eddie could feel himself slip off into sleep.

They were shooting at him. Explosions missed him just by mere inches. There was this… _thing_ inside him. Speaking to him. He couldn’t tell what he wanted to run from, them or himself. Then there was a crash and the worst pain in his life. Well, second worst. It all went away, but he could remember the impact with the ground. The way his body moved and broke when it hit the pavement.

He woke in a cold sweat. The symbiote was staring at him.

**You are safe, Eddie.**

He couldn’t trust himself to speak right now. There was too much he was feeling. He couldn’t stop shaking.

**Something is wrong, Eddie.**

“Yeah, no shit.” His eyes burned in a familiar way. He didn’t like this feeling. It reminded him of too many things. Of hard cases that led to dark ends. Of how he royally screwed up his entire life.

**What is PTSD, Eddie?**

He didn’t know why the damn symbiote cared so much. He was just a host after all, but it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Eddie turned his head into the couch cushions and tried to cry and silently as he could.

A tendril reached out and gently pushed his face upward, to meet the eyes of the symbiote. He didn’t want to show him anymore weakness than usual.

“ **Eddie.”** The voice vibrated deep in his chest. “ **You cannot hide from me, Eddie.** ” Venom moved closer and rested his head on Eddie’s shoulder. His teeth scrapped against Eddie’s neck, and there was something wet.

 **“Talk to me, Eddie.** ”

He took a couple of deep breaths, trying to think of how he could even begin to explain this feeling to an alien.

“It’s uh, it’s like when a person experiences something traumatic, and the experience affects them?” He was doing a terrible job at this. “It’s hard to shake off.” He said into the pillow.

“ **You mean me?”**

“What? No.” He sat up quickly. Venom moved from his shoulder to face him once more. “No you’re not…” He didn’t know how to explain it. All of these things that have happened to him weren’t Venom’s fault. Eddie was the one who went into the facility. He was the one who pissed off Drake and cause the subsequent events. All of this was because of Eddie, not Venom.

He sighed and tried to start again. “Sometimes, it can be memories and they stay with you.” Venom curled around his shoulders, tongue flickering as he moved. “It essentially a reaction to something bad. Something intense.”

Eddie wasn’t a psychologist. He didn’t know how to articulate the panic, the fear that pooled in his gut each time he saw a motorcycle. Or when he would get a glimpse of Venom’s face but instead of Venom, he would see Riot. Or when he was about to step in the shower and he would run his hands over his chest. There wasn’t even a scar. How could he complain when there wasn’t even a scar?

Venom would protect him. He knew that. They depended on each other. Mostly Venom needed him to survive and if Venom ever left him it would likely kill Eddie. He would be fine with that.

The realization startled something in him. He didn’t know if that was his own reaction or Venom’s. Sometimes he forgot he wasn’t alone. All these months couldn’t override years of his life.

“ **I know what you mean.”**

What did he know? “What do _you_ mean?” His curiosity was overtaking any remaining fear. It was nice to have someone to talk to. Even if they weren’t really talking about it.

“ **The machine. When we separated.”**

Right after Dan had told them Venom was eating his way through Eddie’s organs. His heart had atrophied.

“ **I fixed that!”**

“I know you did.” Without thinking, he reached up and pet the black blob on his shoulder. He didn’t know why he did, it was just an automatic response. Venom seemed to calm and slink closer to him.

“So, that night bothers you?” He was still stroking Venom. Eddie didn’t know who it was a bigger comfort to. Nevertheless, he continued.

Venom stayed silent long enough for Eddie to wonder if he should ask again.

“ **Yes. I do not like being separated from you, Eddie.”**

He tried to not let it go to his head. If he was being honest with himself, he liked it when Venom was nice to him. Well, as nice as Venom could be. Cranky bitch.

“ **I am not a bitch.”**

“Says you.”

He continued to pet the symbiote until the other was absorbed back into his body. He sat there on the couch, taking in the several empty beer bottles and boxes of pizza. This was his life. As much as it could be. He wasn’t sure what he even wanted out of life anymore. He wasn’t sure what he could offer the world.

“Does it keep you up at night?” He figure he might as well talk while he cleaned up a bit. Somewhere a while ago he remembered reading that a clean space can help with positive outlook. Or whatever bullshit psychologists were spouting nowadays.

**I don’t sleep Eddie.**

“So what do you do when I’m asleep?” He dumped a bunch of bottles in the trash, and tried to crush the pizza boxes so they would fit.

Venom didn’t answer. “V?”

**I watch.**

“Watch what?” He was fully focused on the conversation now.

**Memories.**

Eddie sighed. “I know I’m gonna regret asking, but mine or yours?”

A beat. **Yours.**

“You do realize that’s an invasion of privacy right?”

**Like I don’t already live inside you.**

“That’s different, man. That’s completely different.” He really didn’t want to be having this conversation now. It was getting late and he had to get up in the morning for work.

**How?**

“I’m not going to explain it you. I’m tired.”

**_We,_ Eddie.**

“Look, just become we’re dependent on it each other, doesn’t mean we need to share everything.” He flopped angrily onto the bed. He knew he wouldn’t fall asleep for some time. Not with how angry he was. Sure, he was exhausted, but he had a feeling this conversation wasn’t over.

He blinked and suddenly he was standing in front of Anne’s old work. She was marching out of the building with a furious expression.

**You mean like this, Eddie?**

“Get out of my head!” He sat up shaking in anger. Before he realized what he was doing, he lashed out at the invisible force, and hit the wall.

Damn, he wasn’t getting the deposit back. Not that he ever expected to with this place. He tried to move his fingers and found himself wholly unsuccessful. Tendrils wrapped around his hand and up his fingers, fixing what was broken. He didn’t feel a thing. He didn’t even feel any pain. He could tell he broke his hand, but he didn’t feel a thing.

Within a second the tendrils retreated, leaving his repaired hand in place. He tested it, flexing the hand and curling it into a fist.

He sunk back onto the bed, so very tired. “Can we not do this tonight? I don’t have it in me.”

Venom didn’t respond and for once he was grateful. For the first time since the symbiote bonded with him, he felt more alone than ever.

Eddie laid down and rolled over, reaching for his phone on the nightstand. He didn’t have to scroll far through his contact until he found the name his was looking for. He tapped the screen, pulling up their previous conversation. The light from the phone burn his eyes at the late hour, but he needed to be reminded that other people existed in this world. That he wasn’t alone.

He composed and deleted several messages. He hadn’t sent anything in a while. What would Anne think of him contacting her now? She hadn’t reached out to him in all this time. Maybe it was because she knew he was lying. Maybe she was waiting for him to go to her, tell her the truth.

**You should.**

“I didn’t ask.” He turned off the phone and set it back on his nightstand.

Instead of falling asleep, he thought of all the things he could tell her. He thought of all the way he needed her. How he missed her. He also dreamed of gun fire and broken bones. A gaping hole where his chest should be.

When he opened his eyes, the smallest rays of light filtered through the cracks of the blinds. His alarm went off moments later. Burying himself in his bed felt like the best option at the moment.

**Food.**

“Right, can’t forget about you, can I?” He reached over and turned off the alarm.

Venom pulled him out of bed.

“Hey! What’s—“

He found himself in front of the bathroom mirror with Venom staring back at him. **You forget Eddie, the choices we made. We. Together.**

He had to take a few breaths to calm himself. He didn’t like being ordered around like this. He didn’t like it when he lost control of his body.

“I don’t like fighting you,” he told his reflection. “I don’t like it when we fight.”

**I do not either.**

Neither of them said anything more on the subject. Eddie went to work without any incident. It was only when he got there the excitement for the day started.

“Brock!” The shout startled him out of his lack of sleep stupor. He’d been staring at the computer for over an hour and hadn’t wrote a single word.

Eddie spun around in his chair to see his new boss standing there in the doorway. “Yes sir.” He gave a little salute to show he was paying attention.

His boss didn’t seem to care for it. “Brock, I need to see you in my office,” and he quickly walked away.

Eddie’s anxiety instantly spiked. He was going to be fired again. It was too soon and he didn’t have enough saved up to hold him over until the next job. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. He failed, again.

**Eddie. It’s okay, Eddie. We are okay.**

He wanted to believe that. He really did. It wasn’t okay and he was losing his job and how was he going to take care of himself? This was officially rock bottom. How was he going to care for Venom? The thought of having to ask Anne for help made him nauseous and he briefly wondered if there was enough time to stop by the bathroom on the way to his boss’s office.

Surprisingly, he managed to hold himself together. He knocked on his boss’s door and entered when he heard he was expected. He sat down in a chair that gave him quick access to the door if he should need it.

“So,” Gideon clicked through some things on his computer. “I’ve watched your old show. It’s not bad.”

“Oh?” He was definitely confused now. He still wasn’t sure if was being fired or not. “Well, thank you sir, I—“

“It’s not great either.” Gideon’s gazed flickered from the screen to Eddie, disapproval written plainly.

**We could eat him.**

Now was not the time for this. “Um.” Eddie wasn’t sure what to say, or to who.

“Between you and me,” Gideon rifled through his desk until he found a pack of cigarettes. He lit one. “You’re probably the one with most talented one here.” Eddie didn’t say anything this time. “I have a story I want you to cover. It’s a bit odd, but I think it’s up your alley.”

Gideon gestured to him, cigarette in hand. A bit of ash landed on him with the movement. “There’s been a series of murders. Victims have no external wounds but in autopsy, victims show significant atrophy in organs.”

“How do you know these are murders?” The words are out of his mouth before he can think. There are thoughts racing through his head and he doesn’t want to focus on any of those before he has more information.

“ _I_ don’t. But the police are acting shifty and there’s some sources saying strange things. City is starting to get wind of it, and if this is a thing, people will want to be in the know. I want to know first.” He took a long drag from his cigarette.

Gideon breathed out the smoke in Eddie’s direction.

**EAT!**

Eddie had a death grip on the arms of the chair, trying to stay in his seat. _We need this job, V. Please be patient._

“If these aren’t murders, than at the very least, there’s a cover up going on.” Gideon tapped his cigarette on the side of his desk. “It been a growing problem for the last few months. Out of everyone here, I think you’re the best one suited for weird shit like this,” Gideon said with a smile as smoke escape his teeth.

Eddie tried to believe this was because he was a seasoned reported and could handle curve balls of any sort. He tried very hard not to take the comment as a personal one.

Gideon pulled out a file from his desk and handed it to Eddie. “I think this has most of what we know. Finds some leads, go follow them, you know the drill.”

Eddie got up and left, making his way back to his cubicle. He cracked open the file for a moment, noticing pictures and other documents. A shadow in one photo caught his eye. He quickly shut the file and gathered up his things. He need privacy.

He ignored the stares from the rest of his coworkers and departed from the office as fast as he could.

**Not fast enough.**

Eddie agreed. Venom wanted to see what was in the photo too, but they were both smart enough to keep it from the wandering eyes of the office. Eddie let Venom take control, the symbiote wrapping around him like he’s done so many times before.

They made it to his apartment in record time. He didn’t care if it was daylight out. This pressed down on him. It sent sirens off in his head and was the only singular thought he could allow himself to focus on. He couldn’t even get the keys in the lock when he reached his door. His hands weren’t steady.

**Too slow.**

Tendrils reached out and busted the door open. He didn’t have the energy to reprimand Venom about the door. He would get it fix, or being realistic he wouldn’t

Eddie tried to close the door behind him, or as much as it would close. He threw the file on the island in the kitchen, letting its contents slide out of the folder. He dug through it like a mad man, searching for the one photo. He found it, holding it in his hands. He held it up to the light, just to be sure. Just to see if his mind was playing tricks on him.

It was a photo of one of the bodies. It was similar to those at the Life Foundation, the ones in the holding cell. Like his friend.

That wasn’t the major concern. What stuck out to him, was the small blob in the corner of the photo. It blended in the dark background, and anyone else would likely see it as some garbage or a pile of shit. He knew exactly what it was, and he knew who.

**Shit.**

“Yeah,” Eddie breathed, “double shit.”


	2. Mistakes were made, but I'm gonna blame the other guy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo, I totally forgot that school and work are a things that people have to like, do and stuff. So hopefully I've got my life figured out now and can post on the reg.

**Riot’s alive?** It was difficult keeping form in Eddie. The rage he felt from this discovery made it hard to relinquish control.

Eddie set the photo on table. Venom wasn’t sure if he would have to pick Eddie up off the floor from how fiercely he was shaking.

“I can’t.” Eddie placed his hands on the island to steady himself. Venom felt them sway a bit, and tried to his best to help without making too much of his presence known.

**What do you need Eddie?**

Venom could feel the thoughts racing through Eddie’s mind. Normally, certain thoughts and emotions would produce certain chemicals. Chemicals that Venom enjoyed snacking on. This however, led to the production of other emotions and chemical that did not agree with him.

Eddie was breathing fast. Too fast. He could see through Eddie’s eyes. Spots started to appear on the edges of their vision. Without asking for permission, Venom moved to them to the bedroom, setting Eddie down on the bed. He moved through the skin to grab the blankets and drape them over Eddie.

**Eddie?** There was something… unusual in the way Venom was feeling. Eddie was panting, gripping the sheets, eyes glassy and focusing on nothing. Venom watched but… there wasn’t much he could do. He and Eddie have had several talks about control. What was appropriate and what wasn’t. If Eddie didn’t get a hold of himself, he would pass out soon. Venom didn’t want that to happen, didn’t want Eddie feeling anymore out of control than he already was.

What was he feeling? He materialized above Eddie, hoping an actual face would help ground him, but Eddie looked right through him. He couldn’t do anything! He couldn’t help Eddie and he didn’t like it. So he just wrapped himself around Eddie, not oppressive, just a presence there next to him.

They stayed like that for nearly an hour, Eddie wrapped in the sheets and Venom wrapped around him. By the time Eddie spoke to him, Eddie’s voice was hoarse and Venom could feel the difficultly it took for him to swallow.

“Venom?”

**“Yes, Eddie?”**

“We can’t fight him.” Eddie’s hand trailed over his chest, just in a small circle. “Not again. I don’t know how… I mean last time…” Eddie reached out and touched him.

To say the experience of living in a human host was strange would be an understatement. To say that Venom had grown increasingly fond of the things that this particular human did, would be a gross understatement. To be clear, Venom was fond of the things Eddie _did,_ like petting him. Not the actual human itself. Eddie was fine. More than fine. Very fine.

As Eddie was touching him, Venom was overwhelmed with the sensation of falling. Heat around his face as he reached out for the inky darkness surrounding him, just before he hit water.

**“You’re thinking about the explosion.”**

Eddie didn’t answer and Venom didn’t need him to. He knew all he needed to know.

**“I won’t let anything happen to you, Eddie.”** To help drive the point home, Venom curled around the hand he repaired last night. Eddie’s eyes flickered with the movement and knew Eddie was thinking the same thing.

“You can’t make that promise.”

He was stunned, _stunned._ How could Eddie say that with such confidence? Did he really have so little faith in Venom’s abilities? In what they could do?

**“But I can.”** The growl that escaped from his throat startled Eddie.

Eddie adjusted himself so he could look Venom in the eye. “It’s not my own safety I worry about.”

So Riot was going through a bunch of humans, trying to find a new host. So what? More humans would die when Riot finally found his host, if he hasn’t already.

“Do you think Drake survived too?” Eddie laid back down in his bed.

Now wasn’t the time to be in bed. Eddie was drained from his reactions to the photos, but he needed to get up. To drink, to _eat._

**“No.”** Venom absorbed back into the skin. Without asking for permission, he seized control and made them get out of bed. He could feel Eddie’s agitation, but once his human realized Venom was taking them to the sink to get some much needed water, there was less.

When they opened the fridge, there was more disappointment. It was practically empty save for a few beer bottles and some ketchup packets. Eddie had told him long ago that it was not the best idea to drink ketchup. Venom was inclined to agree with him after the incident in question.

**Food.**

Eddie resumed control momentarily, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He tapped the screen a couple times. Venom didn’t really know what he was doing, he also didn’t care. He only knew that the phone could lead to more food, and more food was always good. Venom was practically drowning the relief that Eddie felt when staring at something on his phone.

“Looks like the direct deposit finally went through.” Venom didn’t know what that meant, but Eddie considered it a good thing, so he would just have to trust to him.

“It means we can get food now.” There were times when he was impressed by what his human could sense from him and what he couldn’t. More often it seemed like Eddie was as good at reading him as Venom was at reading his human.

“Can we order in?” Eddie asked hesitantly. “I just don’t feel like going out at the moment.”

Eddie was tired. Venom was inside his body, knew it better than even Eddie did. Despite the months they’ve spent together, there was still some part of Eddie that would try and put on a brave face, as if Venom wouldn’t really know. He admired it, in a way. He didn’t like it when his human tried to hide from him, there wasn’t anywhere Eddie could hide. They, we, _us._

Venom didn’t answer and Eddie took that as a yes. Venom tried to pay more attention to what Eddie was doing on his phone. It seemed important, and maybe one day Venom would have to know how to use the odd little rectangle. It was a constant source of food after all.

Venom recognized one of the things on the phone. **Chinese?**

Eddie paused in his scrolling. “Is that what you’re in the mood for?”

**Mmmm.**

“Chinese it is.”

The food arrived shortly. The time spent waiting, was also spent avoiding any of the files scattered across the island or the floor. It was best that they waited until they had a full stomach to deal with this. Or as full as they could be. Still, it was somewhat of a challenge to keep Eddie focused on other things. Eddie always wanted to help people, but he was afraid. Venom would taste it. He didn’t like it.

Eddie paid the man for the food and tried to close the door behind him. He walked over to the broken hinges and sighed. “That’s gonna be a tough fix, man.”

Venom could feel Eddie’s anxiety rising again.

**Food, Eddie.**

“Right.” The door was forgotten about for the time being.

Eddie was less interested in eating than he was in reading the file. Venom took it upon himself to eat while Eddie flipped through the documents.

“We have our work cut out for us.” Eddie set the documents back down on the island. Venom paused eating long enough to study what Eddie set down. It was pictures of numerous bodies. Worn out husks from a symbiote looking for a bond.

**“He hasn’t found a host yet.”**

“Why do you say that?”

**“If he had, we’d be looking at different bodies. Different dead.”**

“Alright,” Eddie combed through the files with renewed energy. “If we find him before he finds a host, we stand a much better chance of beating him this time.”

With that, Venom agreed. They barely managed to beat him last time. Actually they didn’t, because here he is now. What Venom didn’t understand, was why it was taking him so long to find a host. Symbiotes like Riot don’t need a perfect host, they just need one that’s healthy enough to accomplish their goals. No, he’s looking for something specific.

He wasn’t about to clue Eddie in until he knew what Riot was looking for. There was no need to upset him further. He could be wrong. Riot could just be consuming everything he could until he gets bored. Venom knew that wasn’t true, but he also didn’t know what Riot was hoping to accomplish. His closest chance to getting off the planet was gone, and he was officially stuck here with them.

That was a thought he did not like.

“I know where some of these are.” Eddie pointed so certain pictures. “They look like they’re in a similar area. We could look around tonight and see what we find.” He sighed, shoulders slumping around him. Venom noticed the bloodshot eyes and dark circles underneath. “Course, I don’t really know what we’re looking for.”

**“Leave that to me.”**

They decided it was best to wait until night. It would be harder to find Riot, but hopefully they would be harder to find too. If they found Riot, and he found a host, they were to disengage and come up with another plan. They weren’t strong enough to stand toe to toe with him even on their best day. Last time they has an entire rocket to blow up, and that didn’t even work. If they didn’t find Riot, well, they were going to keep looking. The longer he was around, the more dangerous it was for everyone, including them.

Venom knew Riot held intense grudges and if he had to guess, he would say Riot would be coming after them. He promised Eddie he would protect him, but honestly, there was only so much he could do. If it came it to, he would protect his host. Whatever the cost.

Waiting for nightfall was a pain in the ass. Venom wanted to go early, but Eddie wanted to do ‘work’ and ‘pay bills’ and other boring things. He didn’t understand why they had to do any of these things. They could just take whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. It wasn’t that hard. Maybe he if he could just explain to Eddie, one more time…

They left before Venom had the chance. Instead he was leaping across rooftops. Full control. This is what life is. The power, the rush. Being able to eat someone’s head in one bite! It would never get old. Even better when there’s a willing host. Someone to match him.

He dropped down an alley. Eddie mentioned it looked familiar. Venom reached out and tried to sense any presence of Riot. He found nothing. They moved through a few more alleys, a couple of bars. Nothing. The only thing left behind by either the victims or Riot was the blood stains on the concrete.

_Are you doing this right?_

**“I know what I’m doing.”**

_Are you sure? Cause so far we got nothing._

Venom relinquished control so Eddie could walk into a few bars around the crime scenes, ask if anyone had seen anything. Nobody had. Another series of dead ends.

Venom wanted to continue. They could find Riot tonight, they just had to keep at it. However, he could feel Eddie lagging. Eddie hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, as he was worrying over Anne. The event from earlier today also took a lot out of him. Both of them.

The moment they left the bar and were out of sight of other people, Venom took back control. He started to head back to the apartment.

_Hey, where do you think you’re going._

**“Tired, Eddie. Need rest.”**

Of course Eddie assumed the symbiote was speaking for himself, and not his companion. He went along with it for now. Which was all Venom wanted.

It didn’t take long to get back to the apartment, but there was this lingering feeling in both their minds. It bothered Venom, even as Eddie moved through their apartment, late as it was. The human still felt like he had to go through his usual rituals before bed.

Venom didn’t mind. Not normally. Eddie could do as he pleased, but he knew Eddie was tired. He was stressed, tense. Venom could taste it in his brain, the chemicals swirling around. It was a bitter flavor he didn’t enjoy.

Eddie opened and shut the fridge several times before leaning against it in defeat. They were both hungry and no matter how much Eddie tried to will food into existence, it wasn’t happening.

“Hey man, can we just push through the night? I promise we can get a big breakfast in the morning.” Venom couldn’t help but notice the way his words ran together so quickly. Eddie’s levels of anxiety continued to spike as he stared at the fridge.

**Yes.**

Eddie continued to stare at the fridge and this was when Venom realized he would need some help completing his normal rituals. After an evening of crawling through the city, Eddie would normally shower and clean up before getting to bed.

Venom directed them toward the bathroom and Eddie made no point to argue. Venom liked it when they worked together. They were a good match. He didn’t like it when he had to move Eddie around like a doll. There have been times, luckily very few, where he would have to assume full control just to get Eddie through the day. He’d learned his lesson a while ago about eating the organs of his hosts, but sometimes it seemed Eddie was trying to encourage the behavior rather than discourage.

There was the feeling again. It was strange and he couldn’t articulate what it was. He didn’t like it. He just knew when he felt it, he wanted to be close to Eddie. He wanted Eddie to be happy, and when Eddie was happy, the feeling went away.

There were several memories that made Eddie happy. Unfortunately, most of those were from before the symbiote came into his life. Venom studied those the most when Eddie was asleep. He wanted to learn what really made Eddie happy. He thinks he finally knows.

As Eddie stepped in the shower, Venom recalled certain memories of Anne. Eddie enjoyed these memories late at night. He was always relaxed afterwards. Happy and relaxed. These memories played in the back of Eddie’s mind as the warm water ran down his skin. It was a soothing feeling to wash the day away. Soothing to feeling the warmth on skin.

As Eddie was relaxing more, his pulse quickening, tendrils reached below his waist.

“Venom, no! What are you—“ Eddie quickly turned off the water and nearly face planted on the floor as he tried to escape the shower curtain.

The relaxed feeling instantly fled his body and Venom could feel new levels of anxiety.

Eddie searched for a towel and dried himself off, then wrapped it tightly around his waist. He stared into the mirror, red faced and unwilling to look himself in the eye.

“We talked about this,” his voice was quiet. There was a strain to it Venom did not often hear. “I don’t—“ Eddie sighed and rubbed his face with more force than necessary. “I don’t want that from you. That’s not…”

**Wanted you to relax, Eddie.**

“That’s… you know I… look.” Eddie braced his hands on either side of sink and looked his reflection in the eye. “There’s just… certain things I don’t need you to worry about.”

The mix of feelings in Eddie’s mind was overwhelming. Things that Venom had never felt before. They’ve had this talk… one other time. It went about as well as this one.

“You’re an alien.” Eddie splayed his hands like he could produce his intent from his words right there. “As an alien, though one who has been living not only on the planet for a while but in my _head,_ ” Eddie’s face grew red again for a moment before continuing, “you should understand that there’s certain things that aren’t… good?”

Eddie took a deep breath before continuing. “And this…” He shook his head. When looked back in the mirror, the dark circles under his eyes stood out more than before. Either due to the lighting, or maybe it was just the day finally catching up to him.

“I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

Venom was about to drag them to bed, unsure if Eddie could get them there.

“I can do it,” he said just as soon as Venom was about to take control. “I can do it.”

Eddie stopped to dress, quicker than usual, then crawled into bed. He practically passed out the moment his head hit the pillow.

Whatever this was, Venom didn’t like it. There was another new feeling he was experiencing as he watched Eddie sleep tonight. He didn’t really know what to expect would happen in the shower. Just that he wanted to see Eddie happy again, like he was with Anne. He also knew that Eddie was enjoying it. He responded well. So what was the problem?

Maybe he was just too tired. Lack of sleep can disrupt the human cycle in a number of ways, as he was finding out. In the morning, if Eddie wasn’t so tired, maybe he could try again. After breakfast of course. Still, there was something wrong with the… rejection? No, that wasn’t the right word. He hadn’t been _rejected_. Eddie is his host. They are bonded.

Venom materialized just above Eddie. Sometimes instead of watching memories, he would watch Eddie sleep. Sometimes, Venom too would wonder if Eddie was going to wake up when he merged back with his skin.

Those were weak emotions, and he didn’t like them.

Eddie is his, and he is Eddie’s. Plain and simple. Yet as he looked down at Eddie, he couldn’t help but feel something twist inside. Something wrong.

So he did the only thing left he could do. He curled around Eddie, and played some happy memories for his host and his dreams tonight. He thought of all the ways he was going to tear Riot to pieces. Mostly, he tried not to dwell on these silly human feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Eddie. Poor Venom. Poor choices all around.


	3. Emotions are for eating

When Eddie woke in the morning, his tongue felt like sandpaper and his limbs felt too heavy for him to lift. They really over did it last night. They should have rested more. He should be more responsible when it comes to eating regularly. He knows better than this!

**Eddie.**

“I know, I know. Food. Gotta get some food.” As he tried to stand, his legs nearly went out from under him. This is not ideal.

He instantly felt some strength return to his body, just enough so he could carry himself to the kitchen. Barren as it was, he could at least drink up plenty of water. After he downed the second cup, he felt much better. It didn’t do much to alleviate the hunger deep in his stomach, or the weakness in his limbs, but it was a step toward being okay.

**Eddie, we need to eat.**

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” The problem was, he wasn’t sure if he could drag himself out the door. He was weak. He hasn’t felt close to this since the explosion. Of course that was worse. He was tired and starving for days and didn’t even realize it was because of Venom until he first heard a weak voice in his head. They both nearly died and neither realized it.

The thought of ever being back in that moment was too much. He could feel Venom stir within him from the anxiety it caused.

**Eddie?**

“We’re alright V. Just need to eat something.” Eddie managed to drag himself out the door and the down the stairs of their apartment building before dizziness demanded his attention and he body checked a wall. Venom stirred and the movement of his limbs straightened out. The beginnings of a headache disappeared and he found his hands stopped shaking.

“V, I can do this. We’re just getting breakfast. You don’t need to take control.” There was a moment where Eddie wasn’t sure if Venom would back down. He could feel the presence underneath his skin. Venom was always there, always a part of him, but there were times when he was more noticeable than others.

A few seconds later he felt the presence gently fade. Eddie was still shaky, but at least the headache was gone. Venom hadn’t fully backed down. The idea of feeling like they did on that night not so long ago stirred up too much within them both. Still, it was comforting to know Venom was there if Eddie needed him. That didn’t lessen any feelings of wanting to be able to function on his own every once in a while.

The idea of switching from ‘me’ to ‘we’ is still something Eddie is trying to learn.

They made their way to the local corner store, with Eddie buying a box of pop tarts. He tore into a pop tart right there on the street, and scarfed it down. Then ripped open another one and started to eat it at a slower pace as they made their way back to the apartment.

**Can’t do that again, Eddie.**

Eddie didn’t respond, but he didn’t need to. He felt weird all over and likely knew that Venom started digging into his organs to survive.

**Wouldn’t hurt you, Eddie.**

This stopped Eddie in his tracks. Pop tart crumbling in hand with his mouth wide open. He focused for a minute and sure enough, the connection with Venom was weak. Almost as weak when they first survived the explosion.

Those had been dark days for Eddie. He never thought he would be so entwined with something so… alien. The power, it felt good. Really good. Of course, when an alien in your body goes to town on your internal organs it starts to feel not so good.

Then there was the loneliness.

Eddie would say that he’s a relatively personable guy. He likes people, likes to be around people. Sure, there was that time he messed up in New York, but he’s a people person at heart. He likes to connect with people if he can. All his previous partners, he connected with, or at least he thinks so. He loved them. Well there was this one girl that was kinda crazy…

Anyway.

At his heart, Eddie liked to connect with people. That was why he became a reporter after all. You don’t go around telling stories if you don’t like connecting with people.

Even so, all his life Eddie would say that he was mostly fulfilled. Not completely. Is there anyone who is completely fulfilled in life after all? His job? Great. His girlfriend—he tried not to think about Anne—also great. Yet there something that was missing from it all. As much as he liked to connect with others, there was always something missing in the way they would connect with him. He always tried to do right, tried to do what was good and ultimately he couldn’t get it right every time. They just couldn’t understand that.

Then he met Venom.

It would be weird to say that the one living organism you’ve ever truly and deeply connected with is an alien, and what would it say about him that he can’t even connect to people of his own species? That’s pretty fucking sad is what it is. But this? With Venom? That wasn’t sad. It made him feel good to be connected to something to intricately. Minus the eating people thing.

Those hours after the rocket exploded where the loneliest hours of his life. To say he had gotten used to the voice in his head was an understatement. He didn’t truly realize how much he would miss the symbiote until it was gone. For days afterwards, he just stared at the wall. Barely getting up to eat or drink. When he heard the voice in his head, practically begging Eddie to get up and take care of them, he wanted to cry right then and there.

This feeling, of hunger and exhaustion brought him back to those days. Those were days he never wanted to revisit, ever again. From what he could feel in the back of his mind, those feelings were reciprocated.

“I’m sorry, V.” Eddie spoke softly, but there wasn’t any doubt that Venom could hear. Venom would always be able to understand him.

It was nice to be understood.

Now that he finally had some food in his stomach, there were other things to focus on for the day. Eddie grabbed a paper and made his way back to the apartment. He wasn’t ready to just go out and drag himself and Venom around the city again. There had to be some sort of plan in place.

He could tell Venom was mulling it over too, suspiciously silent, but with surges of energy under his skin. Or maybe the symbiote was just happy to have food. Either way, the symbiote didn’t object to Eddie taking a moment to sit and read the paper while consuming more pop tarts.

His heart skipped a beat when his caught on the word ‘murder’. Sure enough, some other paper had picked up the story about the recent mysterious murders, throwing around other words like ‘serial killer’. The idea that Riot could be behind all this, and they were pretty sure he is, made his stomach twist in knots as he continued to read on. Then he thought about his job, and how this was supposed to be his story to cover.

“Shit.”

Some other company picked up the story and ran with it, although with very little information and more speculation than anything. Either way, Eddie was not thrilled to walk into work on Monday. If he even still had a job after this. Sure, he couldn’t help the fact that another paper had picked up the story before they did, even with as little information as they have, but Eddie never felt right diving into a story unless he could do it justice.

**What’s so important about a job anyways?**

“We’ve gone over this before. A job leads to money, and money leads to food. Without a job, we have no food, and then you would be a very sad symbiote.”

**And you would be a very sad human without a liver.**

Touché.

Eddie sighed as he set the paper down on the table, and ran his hands over his face. God, he was so tired.

“What are we gonna do, V?”

**Can go back out. See what we can find.**

Eddie really didn’t like the idea of running all over the city just to find Riot. They had tried hard over the past few months to keep a low profile, or as low as a hulking mass like Venom could keep a low profile. It wasn’t easy. Even then, Eddie understood that with these abilities, they could potentially help people. Though after the whole Life Foundation incident, Eddie understood what people really wanted with these sort of abilities, so it was best to hide them for the time being. Sure, it could help people, but there are also other ways to help than to be powerful.

“We can’t just keep running around at night, hoping we run into him, V. What are we actually going to do if we happen to find him?” Surprisingly, he didn’t get a response. That worried more than anything.

**Eddie.**

What could they do if they actually found Riot? The last time he managed to rip the symbiote right out of Eddie. He couldn’t help but to clutch at his chest, taking comfort in the black mass that had emerged there. Holding on as tight as he could.

**I won’t let him hurt you, Eddie.**

“What if he hurts you?” Eddie didn’t even _know_ if the symbiote could really be harmed through anything outside of fire and sound. He wasn’t sure the type of pain Venom could experience. However, since they’ve been bonded, Eddie has seen how much the symbiote has changed. How human Venom could be.

**Riot can’t hurt me. Not in a way that matters.**

Okay, that was definitely not the answer he was looking for. That scared him even more.

**Eddie.**

Right, now was a time to focus. He had to focus on what was important. People were dying. They don’t know why, but it’s fairly clear this has something to do with Riot, and unfortunately, the two of them were likely the only ones who could even come close to stopping Riot. The sooner they found him the better.

**We need to find him before he finds a suitable host. Riot will try to find someone strong.**

Eddie picked up the paper again, reading over the article once more in hopes that it might have something to help them. Unfortunately, they were out of luck. Eddie, threw it down in frustration. The pages scattered everywhere on the floor, leaving a mess. He really needed to clean in general. Also fix the door.

Then, a page on the floor caught his attention. Obituaries. He picked it up and looked them over, then searched frantically for the murders article. There was the same name, on both pages. The funeral was to be today.

“This is it,” he whispered. “This could be our lead.”

Riot was looking for a strong host, and most of these murders occurred in a small area. Maybe there was something about the victims that was connected. If Riot is looking for a specific type of host, they can figure it out before he finds them.

Eddie got up and hurried to the bathroom looking himself over in the mirror. He had dark circles under his eyes, hair in every direction, and he far too pale. He looked like he switch places with the corpse.

Venom stirred uncomfortably under his skin at the thought.

He didn’t really look in any shape to go anywhere, never mind a funeral. He really needed to get cleaned up. A shave probably wouldn’t hurt either. He double checked the time. There was a few hours before the funeral started, so he could get himself in a presentable state and show up. Hopefully, he could find some answers there. What he really expected to find there? He wasn’t sure, but the longer Riot lurked on the streets without any hindrance, the greater the danger for everyone who happened to come into contact with him.

He wasn’t sure how things were going to play out this time, but if he had any say in it, neither of them were getting hurt. Unfortunately, none of his plans have ever really worked.

Ever.


End file.
